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Two and a Half Men

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About Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men is an American television sitcom that premiered on CBS on September 22, 2003. Starring Charlie Sheen (replaced from Season 9 by Ashton Kutcher), Jon Cryer, and Angus T. Jones, the show was originally about a hedonistic jingle writer, Charlie Harper, his uptight brother, Alan and Alan’s growing son, Jake. Charlie’s free-wheeling life is complicated when his brother gets divorced and moves, along with his son, into Charlie’s beach-front Malibu house. The series’ premise was revamped in the ninth season, focusing on Alan and Jake moving on with their lives after the death of Charlie with help from their new roommate, Walden Schmidt (Ashton Kutcher), who is also dealing with his own troubles following a bad divorce. The three eventually bond and help each other grow and overcome their losses. Sheen was officially fired from the show on March 7, 2011. The ninth season premiere, “Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt”, killed off Sheen’s character and introduced Ashton Kutcher as Walden Schmidt, his replacement. In 2011, a news article in The New York Times called it “the biggest hit comedy of the past decade.” The show has ranked among the Top 20 programs every season since it first aired. There have been ten seasons of the show so far.

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Two and a Half Men Episodes List

Season 10 – Current

Season 10 Episode 5 – That’s Not What They Call It in Amsterdam October 25, 2012
Season 10 Episode 4 – You Know What the Lollipop Is For October 18, 2012
Season 10 Episode 3 – Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt October 11, 2012
Season 10 Episode 2 – A Big Bag of Dog October 4, 2012
Season 10 Episode 1 – I Changed My Mind About the Milk September 27, 2012

Season 9

Season 9, Episode 24 – Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! May 14, 2012
Season 9, Episode 23 – The Straw in My Donut Hole May 7, 2012
Season 9, Episode 22 – Why We Gave Up Women April 30, 2012
Season 9, Episode 21 – Mr Hose Says “Yes” April 16, 2012
Season 9, Episode 20 – Grandma’s Pie April 9, 2012
Season 9, Episode 19 – Palmdale, Ech March 19. 2012
Season 9, Episode 18 – The War Against Gingivitis February 27, 2012
Season 9, Episode 17 – Not In My Mouth! February 20, 2012
Season 9, Episode 16 – Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy February 13, 2012
Season 9, Episode 15 – The Duchess of Dull-In-Sack February 6, 2012
Season 9, Episode 14 – A Possum on Chemo January 16, 2012
Season 9, Episode 13 – Slowly and in a Circular Fashion January 2, 2012
Season 9, Episode 12 – One false move, Zimbabwe! December 12, 2011
Season 9, Episode 11 – What A Lovely Landing Strip December 5, 2011
Season 9, Episode 10 – Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes November 21, 2011
Season 9, Episode 9 – Frodo’s Headshots November 14, 2011
Season 9, Episode 8 – Thanks for the Intercourse November 7, 2011
Season 9, Episode 7 – Those Fancy Japanese Toilets October 31, 2011
Season 9, Episode 6 – The Squat and Hover October 24, 2011
Season 9, Episode 5 – Giant Cat Holding Churro October 17, 2011
Season 9, Episode 4 – Nine Magic Fingers October 10, 2011
Season 9, Episode 3 – Big Girls Don’t Throw Food October 3, 2011
Season 9, Episode 2 – People Who Love Peepholes September 26, 2011
Season 9, Episode 1 – Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt September 19, 2011

Season 8

Season 8 Episode 16 – The Darn Priest February 14, 2011
Season 8 Episode 15 – Thee Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak February 7, 2011
Season 8 Episode 14 – Lookin’ for Japanese Subs January 17, 2011
Season 8 Episode 13 – Skunk, Dog, Crap and Ketchup January 3, 2011
Season 8 Episode 12 – Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy’s Dead December 13, 2010
Season 8 Episode 11 – Dead From the Waist Down December 6, 2010
Season 8 Episode 10 – Ow, Ow, Don’t Stop November 22, 2010
Season 8 Episode 9 – A Good Time in Central Africa November 15, 2010
Season 8 Episode 8 – Springtime on a Stick November 8, 2010
Season 8 Episode 7 – The Crazy Bitch Gazette November 1, 2010
Season 8 Episode 6 – Twanging You Magic Clanger October 25, 2010
Season 8 Episode 5 – The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel October 18, 2010
Season 8 Episode 4 – Hookers, hookers, hookers October 18, 2010
Season 8 Episode 3 – A Pudding-Filled Cactus October 4, 2010
Season 8 Episode 2 – A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer September 27, 2010
Season 8 Episode 1 – Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud September 20, 2010

Season 7

Season 7 Episode 22 – This Is Not Going to End Well May 24, 2010
Season 7 Episode 21 – Gumby With a Pokey May 17, 2010
Season 7 Episode 20 – I Called Him Magoo May 10, 2010
Season 7 Episode 19 – Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave April 12, 2010
Season 7 Episode 18 – Ixnay on the Oggy Day March 22, 2010
Season 7 Episode 17 – I Found Your Mustache March 8, 2010
Season 7 Episode 16 – Tinkle Like a Princess March 1, 2010
Season 7 Episode 15 – Aye, Aye, Captain February 8, 2010
Season 7 Episode 14 – Crude and Uncalled For February 1, 2010
Season 7 Episode 13 – Yay, No Polyps! January 18, 2010
Season 7 Episode 12 – Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste January 11, 2010
Season 7 Episode 11 – Warning, It’s Dirty December 14, 2009
Season 7 Episode 10 – That’s Why They Call It Ball Room December 7, 2009
Season 7 Episode 9 – Captain Terry’s Spray-On Hair November 23, 2009
Season 7 Episode 8 – Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. November 16, 2009
Season 7 Episode 7 – Untainted by Filth November 9, 2009
Season 7 Episode 6 – Give Me Your Thumb November 2, 2009
Season 7 Episode 5 – For the Sake of the Child October 19, 2009
Season 7 Episode 4 – Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator October 12, 2009
Season 7 Episode 3 – Mmm, fish. Yum. October 5, 2009
Season 7 Episode 2 – Whipped Unto the Third Generation September 28, 2009
Season 7 Episode 1 – 818-jklpuzo September 21, 2009

Season 6

Season 6 Episode 24 – Baseball Was Better With Steroid May 18, 2009
Season 6 Episode 23 – Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth May 11, 2009
Season 6 Episode 22 – Sir Lancelot’s Litter Box May 4, 2009
Season 6 Episode 21 – Above Exalted Cyclops April 27, 2009
Season 6 Episode 20 – Hello, I’m Alan Cousteau April 13, 2009
Season 6 Episode 19 – The Two Finger Rule March 30, 2009
Season 6 Episode 18 – My Son’s Enormous Head March 16, 2009
Season 6 Episode 17 – The ‘Ocu’ or the ‘Pado’? March 9, 2009
Season 6 Episode 16 – She’ll Still Be Dead At Halftime March 2, 2009
Season 6 Episode 15 – I’d Like to Start With the Cat February 9, 2009
Season 6 Episode 14 – David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie February 2, 2009
Season 6 Episode 13 – I Think You Offended Don January 19, 2009
Season 6 Episode 12 – Thank God for Scoliosis January 12, 2009
Season 6 Episode 11 – The Devil’s Lube December 15, 2008
Season 6 Episode 10 – He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited December 8, 2008
Season 6 Episode 9 – The Mooch At The Boo November 24, 2008
Season 6 Episode 8 – Pinocchio’s Mouth November 17, 2008
Season 6 Episode 7 – Best H.O. Money Can Buy November 10, 2008
Season 6 Episode 6 – It’s Always Nazi Week November 3, 2008
Season 6 Episode 5 – A Jock Strap in Hell October 20, 2008
Season 6 Episode 4 – The Flavin’ and the Mavin’ October 13, 2008
Season 6 Episode 3 – Damn You, Eggs Benedict October 6, 2008
Season 6 Episode 2 – Pie Hole, Herb September 29, 2008
Season 6 Episode 1 – Taterheard Is Our Love Child September 22, 2008

Season 5

Season 5 Episode 19 – Waiting For The Right Snapper May 19, 2008
Season 5 Episode 18 – If My Hole Could Talk May 11, 2008
Season 5 Episode 17 – Fish in a Drawer May 5, 2008
Season 5 Episode 16 – Look At Me, Mommy, I’m Pretty April 28, 2008
Season 5 Episode 15 – Rough Night in Hump Junction (aka His Ugly Bundle) April 21, 2008
Season 5 Episode 14 – Winky-Dink Time April 15, 2008
Season 5 Episode 13 – The Soil is Moist March 31, 2008
Season 5 Episode 12 – A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh March 24, 2008
Season 5 Episode 11 – Meander to Your Danger March 17, 2008
Season 5 Episode 10 – Kinda Like Necrophilia November 26, 2007
Season 5 Episode 9 – Tight’s God November 19, 2007
Season 5 Episode 8 – Is There a Mrs. Waffles November 12, 2007
Season 5 Episode 7 – The Leather Gear is in the Guest Room November 5, 2007
Season 5 Episode 6 – Help Daddy Find His Toenail October 29, 2007
Season 5 Episode 5 – Putting Swim Fins on a Cat October 22, 2007
Season 5 Episode 4 – City of Great Racks October 15, 2007
Season 5 Episode 3 – Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo October 8, 2007
Season 5 Episode 2 – Media Room Slash Dungeon October 1, 2007
Season 5 Episode 1 – Large Birds, Spiders and Mom editdelete September 24, 2007

Season 4

Season 4 Episode 24 – Prostitutes and Gelato May 14, 2007
Season 4 Episode 23 – Anteaters. They’re Just Crazy-lookin May 7, 2007
Season 4 Episode 22 – Mr. McGlue’s Feedbag April 30, 2007
Season 4 Episode 21 – Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous April 23, 2007
Season 4 Episode 20 – Aunt Myra Doesn’t Pee a Lot April 16, 2007
Season 4 Episode 19 – Smooth as a Ken Doll April 9, 2007
Season 4 Episode 18 – It Never Rains in Hooterville March 19, 2007
Season 4 Episode 17 – I Merely Slept With a Commie February 26, 2007
Season 4 Episode 16 – Young People Have Phlegm Too February 19, 2007
Season 4 Episode 15 – My Damn Stalker February 12, 2007
Season 4 Episode 14 – That’s Summer Sausage, Not Salami February 5, 2007
Season 4 Episode 13 – Don’t Worry Speed Racer January 22, 2007
Season 4 Episode 12 – Castrating Sheep in Montana January 8, 2007
Season 4 Episode 11 – Walnuts and Demerol December 11, 2006
Season 4 Episode 10 – Kissing Abraham Lincoln November 27, 2006
Season 4 Episode 9 – Corey’s Been Dead For an Hour November 20, 2006
Season 4 Episode 8 – Release the Dogs November 13, 2006
Season 4 Episode 7 – Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head November 6, 2006
Season 4 Episode 6 – Apologies for the Frivolity October 23, 2006
Season 4 Episode 5 – A Live Woman of Proven Fertility October 16, 2006
Season 4 Episode 4 – A Pot Smoking Monkey October 9, 2006
Season 4 Episode 3 – The Sea is a Harsh Mistress October 2, 2006
Season 4 Episode 2 – WHo’s Vod Kanockers September 25, 2006
Season 4 Episode 1 – Working for Caligula September 18, 2006

Season 3

Season 3 Episode 24 – That Pistol-Packin’ Hermaphrodite May 22, 2006
Season 3 Episode 23 – Arguments for the Quickie May 15, 2006
Season 3 Episode 22 – Just Once With Aunt Sophie May 8, 2006
Season 3 Episode 21 – And the Plot Moistens May 1, 2006
Season 3 Episode 20 – Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro April 24, 2006
Season 3 Episode 19 – Golly Moses, She’s A Muffin April 10, 2006
Season 3 Episode 18 – The Spit-Covered Cobbler March 20, 2006
Season 3 Episode 17 – The Unfortunate Little Schnauser March 13, 2006
Season 3 Episode 16 – Ergo, The Booty Call March 6, 2006
Season 3 Episode 15 – My Tongue is Meat February 27, 2006
Season 3 Episode 14 – Love Isn’t Blind, It’s Retarded February 6, 2006
Season 3 Episode 13 – Humiliation is a Visual Medium January 23, 2006
Season 3 Episode 12 – That Special Tug January 9, 2006
Season 3 Episode 11 – Santa’s Village of the Damned December 19, 2005
Season 3 Episode 10 – Something Salted and Twisted November 28, 2005
Season 3 Episode 9 – Madame and Her Special Friend November 21, 2005
Season 3 Episode 8 – That Voodoo that I Doo Doo November 14, 2005
Season 3 Episode 7 – Sleep Tight, Puddin’ Pop November 7, 2005
Season 3 Episode 6 – Hi, Mr. Horned One October 24, 2005
Season 3 Episode 5 – We Called It Mr. Pinky October 17, 2005
Season 3 Episode 4 – Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs October 10, 2005
Season 3 Episode 3 – Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark October 3, 2005
Season 3 Episode 2 – Principal Gallagher’s Lesbian lover September 26, 2005
Season 3 Episode 1 – Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts September 19, 2005

Season 2

Season 2 Episode 24 – Does This Smell Funny To You? May 23, 2005
Season 2 Episode 23 – Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab May 16, 2005
Season 2 Episode 22 – That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother May 9, 2005
Season 2 Episode 21 – A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On May 2, 2005
Season 2 Episode 20 – I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey April 18, 2005
Season 2 Episode 19 – A Low, Gutteral Tongue-Flapping Noise… March 21, 2005
Season 2 Episode 18 – It Was Mame, Mom March 7, 2005
Season 2 Episode 17 – Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam! February 21, 2005
Season 2 Episode 16 – Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth? February 14, 2005
Season 2 Episode 15 – Smell the Umbrella Stand February 7, 2005
Season 2 Episode 14 – Those Big Pink Things with Coconut January 31, 2005
Season 2 Episode 13 – Zejdź z Moich Włosów (aka Get Off My Hair) January 17, 2005
Season 2 Episode 12 – A Lungful of Alan January 3, 2005
Season 2 Episode 11 – Last Chance To See Those Tattoos December 13, 2004
Season 2 Episode 10 – The Salmon Under My Sweater November 29, 2004
Season 2 Episode 9 – Yes, Monsignor November 22, 2004
Season 2 Episode 8 – Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers November 15, 2004
Season 2 Episode 7 – A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana November 8, 2004
Season 2 Episode 6 – The Price of Healthy Gums is Eternal Vigilance October 25, 2004
Season 2 Episode 5 – Bad News from the Clinic October 18, 2004
Season 2 Episode 4 – Go Get Mommy’s Bra October 11, 2004
Season 2 Episode 3 – A Bag Full of Jawea October 4, 2004
Season 2 Episode 2 – Enjoy Those Garlic Balls September 27, 2004
Season 2 Episode 1 – Back Off Mary Poppins September 20, 2004

Season 1

Season 1 Episode 24 – Can You Feel My Finger? May 24, 2004
Season 1 Episode 23 – Just Like Buffalo May 17, 2004
Season 1 Episode 22 – My Doctor Has A Cow Puppet May 10, 2004
Season 1 Episode 21 – No Sniffing, No Wowing May 3, 2004
Season 1 Episode 20 – Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark April 19, 2004
Season 1 Episode 19 – I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don’t Remember You March 22, 2004
Season 1 Episode 18 – An Old Flame With a New Wick March 1, 2004
Season 1 Episode 17 – Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hat February 23, 2004
Season 1 Episode 16 – Tht Was Saliva, Alan (2) February 16, 2004
Season 1 Episode 15 – Round One To The Hot Crazy Chick (1) February 9, 2004
Season 1 Episode 14 – I Can’t Afford Hyenas February 2, 2004
Season 1 Episode 13 – Sara Like Puny Alan January 12, 2004
Season 1 Episode 12 – Camel Filters Pheromones January 5, 2004
Season 1 Episode 11 – Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor December 15, 2003
Season 1 Episode 10 – Merry Thanksgiving November 24, 2003
Season 1 Episode 9 – Phase One, Complete November 17, 2003
Season 1 Episode 8 – Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-ful November 10, 2003
Season 1 Episode 7 – If They Do Go Either Way, They’re Usually Fake November 3, 2003
Season 1 Episode 6 – Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? October 27, 2003
Season 1 Episode 5 – The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump October 20, 2003
Season 1 Episode 4 – If I Can’t Write My Chocolate Song I’m Going to Tak a Nap October 13, 2003
Season 1 Episode 3 – Go East On Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell October 6, 2003
Season 1 Episode 2 – Big Flappy Bastards September 29, 2003
Season 1 Episode 1 – Pilot September 22, 2003


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