Two and a Half Men
About Two and a Half Men
Two and a Half Men is an American television sitcom that premiered on CBS on September 22, 2003. Starring Charlie Sheen (replaced from Season 9 by Ashton Kutcher), Jon Cryer, and Angus T. Jones, the show was originally about a hedonistic jingle writer, Charlie Harper, his uptight brother, Alan and Alan’s growing son, Jake. Charlie’s free-wheeling life is complicated when his brother gets divorced and moves, along with his son, into Charlie’s beach-front Malibu house. The series’ premise was revamped in the ninth season, focusing on Alan and Jake moving on with their lives after the death of Charlie with help from their new roommate, Walden Schmidt (Ashton Kutcher), who is also dealing with his own troubles following a bad divorce. The three eventually bond and help each other grow and overcome their losses. Sheen was officially fired from the show on March 7, 2011. The ninth season premiere, “Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt”, killed off Sheen’s character and introduced Ashton Kutcher as Walden Schmidt, his replacement. In 2011, a news article in The New York Times called it “the biggest hit comedy of the past decade.” The show has ranked among the Top 20 programs every season since it first aired. There have been ten seasons of the show so far.
Two and a Half Men Episodes List
Season 10 – Current
| Season 10 Episode 5 – That’s Not What They Call It in Amsterdam |
October 25, 2012 |
| Season 10 Episode 4 – You Know What the Lollipop Is For |
October 18, 2012 |
| Season 10 Episode 3 – Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt |
October 11, 2012 |
| Season 10 Episode 2 – A Big Bag of Dog |
October 4, 2012 |
| Season 10 Episode 1 – I Changed My Mind About the Milk |
September 27, 2012 |
Season 9
| Season 9, Episode 24 – Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! |
May 14, 2012 |
| Season 9, Episode 23 – The Straw in My Donut Hole |
May 7, 2012 |
| Season 9, Episode 22 – Why We Gave Up Women |
April 30, 2012 |
| Season 9, Episode 21 – Mr Hose Says “Yes” |
April 16, 2012 |
| Season 9, Episode 20 – Grandma’s Pie |
April 9, 2012 |
| Season 9, Episode 19 – Palmdale, Ech |
March 19. 2012 |
| Season 9, Episode 18 – The War Against Gingivitis |
February 27, 2012 |
| Season 9, Episode 17 – Not In My Mouth! |
February 20, 2012 |
| Season 9, Episode 16 – Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy |
February 13, 2012 |
| Season 9, Episode 15 – The Duchess of Dull-In-Sack |
February 6, 2012 |
| Season 9, Episode 14 – A Possum on Chemo |
January 16, 2012 |
| Season 9, Episode 13 – Slowly and in a Circular Fashion |
January 2, 2012 |
| Season 9, Episode 12 – One false move, Zimbabwe! |
December 12, 2011 |
| Season 9, Episode 11 – What A Lovely Landing Strip |
December 5, 2011 |
| Season 9, Episode 10 – Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes |
November 21, 2011 |
| Season 9, Episode 9 – Frodo’s Headshots |
November 14, 2011 |
| Season 9, Episode 8 – Thanks for the Intercourse |
November 7, 2011 |
| Season 9, Episode 7 – Those Fancy Japanese Toilets |
October 31, 2011 |
| Season 9, Episode 6 – The Squat and Hover |
October 24, 2011 |
| Season 9, Episode 5 – Giant Cat Holding Churro |
October 17, 2011 |
| Season 9, Episode 4 – Nine Magic Fingers |
October 10, 2011 |
| Season 9, Episode 3 – Big Girls Don’t Throw Food |
October 3, 2011 |
| Season 9, Episode 2 – People Who Love Peepholes |
September 26, 2011 |
| Season 9, Episode 1 – Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt |
September 19, 2011 |
Season 8
| Season 8 Episode 16 – The Darn Priest |
February 14, 2011 |
| Season 8 Episode 15 – Thee Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak |
February 7, 2011 |
| Season 8 Episode 14 – Lookin’ for Japanese Subs |
January 17, 2011 |
| Season 8 Episode 13 – Skunk, Dog, Crap and Ketchup |
January 3, 2011 |
| Season 8 Episode 12 – Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy’s Dead |
December 13, 2010 |
| Season 8 Episode 11 – Dead From the Waist Down |
December 6, 2010 |
| Season 8 Episode 10 – Ow, Ow, Don’t Stop |
November 22, 2010 |
| Season 8 Episode 9 – A Good Time in Central Africa |
November 15, 2010 |
| Season 8 Episode 8 – Springtime on a Stick |
November 8, 2010 |
| Season 8 Episode 7 – The Crazy Bitch Gazette |
November 1, 2010 |
| Season 8 Episode 6 – Twanging You Magic Clanger |
October 25, 2010 |
| Season 8 Episode 5 – The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel |
October 18, 2010 |
| Season 8 Episode 4 – Hookers, hookers, hookers |
October 18, 2010 |
| Season 8 Episode 3 – A Pudding-Filled Cactus |
October 4, 2010 |
| Season 8 Episode 2 – A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer |
September 27, 2010 |
| Season 8 Episode 1 – Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud |
September 20, 2010 |
Season 7
| Season 7 Episode 22 – This Is Not Going to End Well |
May 24, 2010 |
| Season 7 Episode 21 – Gumby With a Pokey |
May 17, 2010 |
| Season 7 Episode 20 – I Called Him Magoo |
May 10, 2010 |
| Season 7 Episode 19 – Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave |
April 12, 2010 |
| Season 7 Episode 18 – Ixnay on the Oggy Day |
March 22, 2010 |
| Season 7 Episode 17 – I Found Your Mustache |
March 8, 2010 |
| Season 7 Episode 16 – Tinkle Like a Princess |
March 1, 2010 |
| Season 7 Episode 15 – Aye, Aye, Captain |
February 8, 2010 |
| Season 7 Episode 14 – Crude and Uncalled For |
February 1, 2010 |
| Season 7 Episode 13 – Yay, No Polyps! |
January 18, 2010 |
| Season 7 Episode 12 – Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste |
January 11, 2010 |
| Season 7 Episode 11 – Warning, It’s Dirty |
December 14, 2009 |
| Season 7 Episode 10 – That’s Why They Call It Ball Room |
December 7, 2009 |
| Season 7 Episode 9 – Captain Terry’s Spray-On Hair |
November 23, 2009 |
| Season 7 Episode 8 – Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. |
November 16, 2009 |
| Season 7 Episode 7 – Untainted by Filth |
November 9, 2009 |
| Season 7 Episode 6 – Give Me Your Thumb |
November 2, 2009 |
| Season 7 Episode 5 – For the Sake of the Child |
October 19, 2009 |
| Season 7 Episode 4 – Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator |
October 12, 2009 |
| Season 7 Episode 3 – Mmm, fish. Yum. |
October 5, 2009 |
| Season 7 Episode 2 – Whipped Unto the Third Generation |
September 28, 2009 |
| Season 7 Episode 1 – 818-jklpuzo |
September 21, 2009 |
Season 6
| Season 6 Episode 24 – Baseball Was Better With Steroid |
May 18, 2009 |
| Season 6 Episode 23 – Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth |
May 11, 2009 |
| Season 6 Episode 22 – Sir Lancelot’s Litter Box |
May 4, 2009 |
| Season 6 Episode 21 – Above Exalted Cyclops |
April 27, 2009 |
| Season 6 Episode 20 – Hello, I’m Alan Cousteau |
April 13, 2009 |
| Season 6 Episode 19 – The Two Finger Rule |
March 30, 2009 |
| Season 6 Episode 18 – My Son’s Enormous Head |
March 16, 2009 |
| Season 6 Episode 17 – The ‘Ocu’ or the ‘Pado’? |
March 9, 2009 |
| Season 6 Episode 16 – She’ll Still Be Dead At Halftime |
March 2, 2009 |
| Season 6 Episode 15 – I’d Like to Start With the Cat |
February 9, 2009 |
| Season 6 Episode 14 – David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie |
February 2, 2009 |
| Season 6 Episode 13 – I Think You Offended Don |
January 19, 2009 |
| Season 6 Episode 12 – Thank God for Scoliosis |
January 12, 2009 |
| Season 6 Episode 11 – The Devil’s Lube |
December 15, 2008 |
| Season 6 Episode 10 – He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited |
December 8, 2008 |
| Season 6 Episode 9 – The Mooch At The Boo |
November 24, 2008 |
| Season 6 Episode 8 – Pinocchio’s Mouth |
November 17, 2008 |
| Season 6 Episode 7 – Best H.O. Money Can Buy |
November 10, 2008 |
| Season 6 Episode 6 – It’s Always Nazi Week |
November 3, 2008 |
| Season 6 Episode 5 – A Jock Strap in Hell |
October 20, 2008 |
| Season 6 Episode 4 – The Flavin’ and the Mavin’ |
October 13, 2008 |
| Season 6 Episode 3 – Damn You, Eggs Benedict |
October 6, 2008 |
| Season 6 Episode 2 – Pie Hole, Herb |
September 29, 2008 |
| Season 6 Episode 1 – Taterheard Is Our Love Child |
September 22, 2008 |
Season 5
| Season 5 Episode 19 – Waiting For The Right Snapper |
May 19, 2008 |
| Season 5 Episode 18 – If My Hole Could Talk |
May 11, 2008 |
| Season 5 Episode 17 – Fish in a Drawer |
May 5, 2008 |
| Season 5 Episode 16 – Look At Me, Mommy, I’m Pretty |
April 28, 2008 |
| Season 5 Episode 15 – Rough Night in Hump Junction (aka His Ugly Bundle) |
April 21, 2008 |
| Season 5 Episode 14 – Winky-Dink Time |
April 15, 2008 |
| Season 5 Episode 13 – The Soil is Moist |
March 31, 2008 |
| Season 5 Episode 12 – A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh |
March 24, 2008 |
| Season 5 Episode 11 – Meander to Your Danger |
March 17, 2008 |
| Season 5 Episode 10 – Kinda Like Necrophilia |
November 26, 2007 |
| Season 5 Episode 9 – Tight’s God |
November 19, 2007 |
| Season 5 Episode 8 – Is There a Mrs. Waffles |
November 12, 2007 |
| Season 5 Episode 7 – The Leather Gear is in the Guest Room |
November 5, 2007 |
| Season 5 Episode 6 – Help Daddy Find His Toenail |
October 29, 2007 |
| Season 5 Episode 5 – Putting Swim Fins on a Cat |
October 22, 2007 |
| Season 5 Episode 4 – City of Great Racks |
October 15, 2007 |
| Season 5 Episode 3 – Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo |
October 8, 2007 |
| Season 5 Episode 2 – Media Room Slash Dungeon |
October 1, 2007 |
| Season 5 Episode 1 – Large Birds, Spiders and Mom editdelete |
September 24, 2007 |
Season 4
| Season 4 Episode 24 – Prostitutes and Gelato |
May 14, 2007 |
| Season 4 Episode 23 – Anteaters. They’re Just Crazy-lookin |
May 7, 2007 |
| Season 4 Episode 22 – Mr. McGlue’s Feedbag |
April 30, 2007 |
| Season 4 Episode 21 – Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous |
April 23, 2007 |
| Season 4 Episode 20 – Aunt Myra Doesn’t Pee a Lot |
April 16, 2007 |
| Season 4 Episode 19 – Smooth as a Ken Doll |
April 9, 2007 |
| Season 4 Episode 18 – It Never Rains in Hooterville |
March 19, 2007 |
| Season 4 Episode 17 – I Merely Slept With a Commie |
February 26, 2007 |
| Season 4 Episode 16 – Young People Have Phlegm Too |
February 19, 2007 |
| Season 4 Episode 15 – My Damn Stalker |
February 12, 2007 |
| Season 4 Episode 14 – That’s Summer Sausage, Not Salami |
February 5, 2007 |
| Season 4 Episode 13 – Don’t Worry Speed Racer |
January 22, 2007 |
| Season 4 Episode 12 – Castrating Sheep in Montana |
January 8, 2007 |
| Season 4 Episode 11 – Walnuts and Demerol |
December 11, 2006 |
| Season 4 Episode 10 – Kissing Abraham Lincoln |
November 27, 2006 |
| Season 4 Episode 9 – Corey’s Been Dead For an Hour |
November 20, 2006 |
| Season 4 Episode 8 – Release the Dogs |
November 13, 2006 |
| Season 4 Episode 7 – Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head |
November 6, 2006 |
| Season 4 Episode 6 – Apologies for the Frivolity |
October 23, 2006 |
| Season 4 Episode 5 – A Live Woman of Proven Fertility |
October 16, 2006 |
| Season 4 Episode 4 – A Pot Smoking Monkey |
October 9, 2006 |
| Season 4 Episode 3 – The Sea is a Harsh Mistress |
October 2, 2006 |
| Season 4 Episode 2 – WHo’s Vod Kanockers |
September 25, 2006 |
| Season 4 Episode 1 – Working for Caligula |
September 18, 2006 |
Season 3
| Season 3 Episode 24 – That Pistol-Packin’ Hermaphrodite |
May 22, 2006 |
| Season 3 Episode 23 – Arguments for the Quickie |
May 15, 2006 |
| Season 3 Episode 22 – Just Once With Aunt Sophie |
May 8, 2006 |
| Season 3 Episode 21 – And the Plot Moistens |
May 1, 2006 |
| Season 3 Episode 20 – Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro |
April 24, 2006 |
| Season 3 Episode 19 – Golly Moses, She’s A Muffin |
April 10, 2006 |
| Season 3 Episode 18 – The Spit-Covered Cobbler |
March 20, 2006 |
| Season 3 Episode 17 – The Unfortunate Little Schnauser |
March 13, 2006 |
| Season 3 Episode 16 – Ergo, The Booty Call |
March 6, 2006 |
| Season 3 Episode 15 – My Tongue is Meat |
February 27, 2006 |
| Season 3 Episode 14 – Love Isn’t Blind, It’s Retarded |
February 6, 2006 |
| Season 3 Episode 13 – Humiliation is a Visual Medium |
January 23, 2006 |
| Season 3 Episode 12 – That Special Tug |
January 9, 2006 |
| Season 3 Episode 11 – Santa’s Village of the Damned |
December 19, 2005 |
| Season 3 Episode 10 – Something Salted and Twisted |
November 28, 2005 |
| Season 3 Episode 9 – Madame and Her Special Friend |
November 21, 2005 |
| Season 3 Episode 8 – That Voodoo that I Doo Doo |
November 14, 2005 |
| Season 3 Episode 7 – Sleep Tight, Puddin’ Pop |
November 7, 2005 |
| Season 3 Episode 6 – Hi, Mr. Horned One |
October 24, 2005 |
| Season 3 Episode 5 – We Called It Mr. Pinky |
October 17, 2005 |
| Season 3 Episode 4 – Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs |
October 10, 2005 |
| Season 3 Episode 3 – Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark |
October 3, 2005 |
| Season 3 Episode 2 – Principal Gallagher’s Lesbian lover |
September 26, 2005 |
| Season 3 Episode 1 – Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts |
September 19, 2005 |
Season 2
| Season 2 Episode 24 – Does This Smell Funny To You? |
May 23, 2005 |
| Season 2 Episode 23 – Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab |
May 16, 2005 |
| Season 2 Episode 22 – That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother |
May 9, 2005 |
| Season 2 Episode 21 – A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On |
May 2, 2005 |
| Season 2 Episode 20 – I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey |
April 18, 2005 |
| Season 2 Episode 19 – A Low, Gutteral Tongue-Flapping Noise… |
March 21, 2005 |
| Season 2 Episode 18 – It Was Mame, Mom |
March 7, 2005 |
| Season 2 Episode 17 – Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam! |
February 21, 2005 |
| Season 2 Episode 16 – Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth? |
February 14, 2005 |
| Season 2 Episode 15 – Smell the Umbrella Stand |
February 7, 2005 |
| Season 2 Episode 14 – Those Big Pink Things with Coconut |
January 31, 2005 |
| Season 2 Episode 13 – Zejdź z Moich Włosów (aka Get Off My Hair) |
January 17, 2005 |
| Season 2 Episode 12 – A Lungful of Alan |
January 3, 2005 |
| Season 2 Episode 11 – Last Chance To See Those Tattoos |
December 13, 2004 |
| Season 2 Episode 10 – The Salmon Under My Sweater |
November 29, 2004 |
| Season 2 Episode 9 – Yes, Monsignor |
November 22, 2004 |
| Season 2 Episode 8 – Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers |
November 15, 2004 |
| Season 2 Episode 7 – A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana |
November 8, 2004 |
| Season 2 Episode 6 – The Price of Healthy Gums is Eternal Vigilance |
October 25, 2004 |
| Season 2 Episode 5 – Bad News from the Clinic |
October 18, 2004 |
| Season 2 Episode 4 – Go Get Mommy’s Bra |
October 11, 2004 |
| Season 2 Episode 3 – A Bag Full of Jawea |
October 4, 2004 |
| Season 2 Episode 2 – Enjoy Those Garlic Balls |
September 27, 2004 |
| Season 2 Episode 1 – Back Off Mary Poppins |
September 20, 2004 |
Season 1
| Season 1 Episode 24 – Can You Feel My Finger? |
May 24, 2004 |
| Season 1 Episode 23 – Just Like Buffalo |
May 17, 2004 |
| Season 1 Episode 22 – My Doctor Has A Cow Puppet |
May 10, 2004 |
| Season 1 Episode 21 – No Sniffing, No Wowing |
May 3, 2004 |
| Season 1 Episode 20 – Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark |
April 19, 2004 |
| Season 1 Episode 19 – I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don’t Remember You |
March 22, 2004 |
| Season 1 Episode 18 – An Old Flame With a New Wick |
March 1, 2004 |
| Season 1 Episode 17 – Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hat |
February 23, 2004 |
| Season 1 Episode 16 – Tht Was Saliva, Alan (2) |
February 16, 2004 |
| Season 1 Episode 15 – Round One To The Hot Crazy Chick (1) |
February 9, 2004 |
| Season 1 Episode 14 – I Can’t Afford Hyenas |
February 2, 2004 |
| Season 1 Episode 13 – Sara Like Puny Alan |
January 12, 2004 |
| Season 1 Episode 12 – Camel Filters Pheromones |
January 5, 2004 |
| Season 1 Episode 11 – Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor |
December 15, 2003 |
| Season 1 Episode 10 – Merry Thanksgiving |
November 24, 2003 |
| Season 1 Episode 9 – Phase One, Complete |
November 17, 2003 |
| Season 1 Episode 8 – Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-ful |
November 10, 2003 |
| Season 1 Episode 7 – If They Do Go Either Way, They’re Usually Fake |
November 3, 2003 |
| Season 1 Episode 6 – Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? |
October 27, 2003 |
| Season 1 Episode 5 – The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump |
October 20, 2003 |
| Season 1 Episode 4 – If I Can’t Write My Chocolate Song I’m Going to Tak a Nap |
October 13, 2003 |
| Season 1 Episode 3 – Go East On Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell |
October 6, 2003 |
| Season 1 Episode 2 – Big Flappy Bastards |
September 29, 2003 |
| Season 1 Episode 1 – Pilot |
September 22, 2003 |
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